People are attracted to each other on innumerable different levels and for countless reasons. Every single person can be attractive. Whether that’s true or not, most of us like to believe it and use it as an excuse to blame bad luck when we can’t find a partner.
If you’re really serious about finding a partner who you are attracted to, you’ll have to make yourself attractive to them. Now this could be in a number of different ways. Firstly, this could be physically. Of course, not all people are attracted to the same physical characteristics in others, but there are general rules. According to studies published in a leading American journal, the physical characteristics of women that most men find to be attractive are facial symmetry, youthfulness, hip-to-waist ratio, long hair and a good odour.
You may be thinking there’s not much can be done to change some of those characteristics without surgery, but you may be surprised. People wear make-up and style their hair in certain ways to give a balanced shape to their face. Certain features are emphasised and other covered up. How many people cover up their huge foreheads with a fringe? How many ‘correct’ asymmetrical eyes with lots of makeup?
The idea of youthfulness as attractive is linked to fertility and virginity. Even if you’ve reached the menopause, you can mimic youthful characteristics – applying makeup to get rid of wrinkles, losing those layers of fat that are untypical of adolescents (you can run them off at home – just look at http://www.treadmilltrends.com/).Wear clothes which make your waist appear higher up, grow your hair, stay clean and wear a nice perfume. None of that is difficult or expensive. If you’ve already got this right, stop worrying that you’re not physically attractive. It may be your personality that is putting people off you.
The physical characteristics of men which are most admired are a large chest, jutting jaw and good physique. These are all obviously related to being able to win fights and work hard. It is not just when finding a partner that these characteristics give an advantage – studies show that men with these characteristics get more promotions and earn more money than others.
You should give equal weight to your personality. If people want to get away from you moments after you meet, it means you are actually repulsive. Attractive men and women have the same personality traits, although their weightings may differ.
Honesty and stability are key. Have you ever read a dating profile of someone searching for ‘a lying toad who can’t decide what (s)he wants’? I didn’t think so. Covering up your inadequacies with lies and boasting doesn’t help. Most people will eventually see through it. Nobody is perfect and pretending you are will just alienate others from you – having a hint of vulnerability is attractive, it can make a potential partner feel that they will be needed and valued.
Respectfulness is not always appreciated and can be mistaken for weakness. However, it is generally considered to be an attractive trait and is demanded by potential partners as the foundation of a relationship.
Other personality traits may or may not be found attractive by potential partners – just be yourself and don’t try to second-guess what people might like or dislike about you. As soon as you start pretending, people will see through you and realise you are, in effect, lying to them by pretending to be what you’re not. Traits you don’t like in yourself may be the reasons others like you. Just ask any goof, scatterbrain or perfectionist.
Almost universally attractive features are charm, charisma and confidence. These are all associated with winning. A person with these traits can provide, is the message. If you find yourself entering into a relationship with a person with such traits, that’s great, but just be careful to observe for signs of impulsiveness, deceit, manipulation and remorselessness. Unfortunately, these characteristics go hand in hand in some people. It is not a coincidence that a whole bunch of ruthless despots, tyrants, scammers and serial killers have been extremely charming and charismatic.
Now, go ahead and make the changes you want and then get on with being yourself. That’s when you’re at your most attractive.